Our Family’s College Journey (Part II)

Last time I shared part one of a short series of articles outlining my family’s college admission process with our son, the second of our two children. If you missed it, you can read the factors beyond our control HERE.

Today I will outline some of our smart decisions, some learned the hard way with our daughter. 

Touring Colleges

With both kids we benefited from touring a variety of college campuses, and starting the process early. Some early visits were just added on to summer trips. When my son and I visited my parents in Santa Fe, New Mexico in the summer of 2022, we took a couple hours to visit St. John’s College. (He ultimately decided to attend St. John’s other campus in Annapolis, Maryland.)

The summer before junior year we incorporated more college visits including a few trips planned exclusively to see schools. As a junior he visited 10 colleges. Some schools quickly moved to the top of the list and others provided examples of what we didn’t want. We also had some that “just didn’t seem right” and we honored these decisions. 

My kids are six years apart, so we didn’t get the benefit of overlapping college visits. My son had to go on a few tours with his older sister, but as a fifth or sixth grader, he didn’t remember much. He did get to see his sister’s school (our alma mater) but it was never seriously on his list. 

Summer Experiences on College Campuses

Both kids were able to spend a week (or more) getting the feel for college life. Our son, an Eagle Scout, had two separate weeks on large university campuses when he attended the National OA Conference with the Scouts. Sleeping in the dorms, eating in the dining hall, and navigating campus to attend his scheduled programming gave him a taste for college life and allowed him to compare these large campuses to the smaller ones on his list. 

St. John’s College, our son’s ultimate pick, offers a very unique curriculum focused on reading the great books and seminar-style discussion classes. We encouraged him to participate in the St. John’s summer program so he could decide if the campus atmosphere and reading focused academic approach worked for him. The day I picked him up from his week of “Consciousness and the Mind”, he said, “Yes, I definitely want to apply and this is one of my top schools.” 

Early Start on College Essays

I’ll start with some background. My daughter graduated from high school in 2019. She was very successful in her college admissions, but the process was painful. There were tears on more than one occasion. Although she is a great writer and she knew what she wanted to say in her main essay, she didn’t write it until October of her senior year. She spent Thanksgiving completing all the supplemental essay for one university and her final application (to the school she ultimately attended!) was submitted in the last days of December, just before the January 1 deadline. 

I resolved not to relive the stress of that experience our second time around! 

My son started on his college essays in June. He had his resume and essay done by August 1. There were a few moments of “do I have to work on this now?” And the answer was always “you can thank your sister for this!” 

The early start (and completion) of his essay and resume meant his applications were all submitted by early October. 

Realistic Understanding of Costs

Once you pay for one kid to go to college, the money seems less shocking. 

We have a two-professional-income-household with only one kid in college at a time. We are affluent enough, but don’t have money falling out of our pockets (and the thought of tuition for private colleges hurts.) We had a realistic understanding of the financial picture from the start. 

We knew we were not good candidates for need based aid. We wanted our son to apply to at least one school that would be more affordable. 

Instead of making him apply to one of our in-state universities for the lower in-state tuition, we allowed him to apply to a private college where we knew he would be a good candidate for scholarships that would bring the total cost down to a range similar to that of our state universities. 

Conclusion

Between factors that worked in our favor and some smart actions / decisions on our part, applying to college was a lot less stressful the second time around. 

Next time I will focus on action steps and tips— my advice having just experienced the entire college application process.